Yesterday, while picking up Bennett from school, the following thoughts ran through my head:
*It's a half-day at school, so that means he did not eat much
*Hmmmm, bet he did not take a nap
OK this should give you a clue that I was already anticipating his state of being when I picked him up.I was right to do so, but as I am always good at anticipating but not so good at having a plan, we sure enough ended up in battle.
First, never argue or reason with a hungry, tired child. He wanted a cookie and come to think of it woke up that morning asking for of all things, cake. I knew he was hungry so I told him we would pick up some noodles from the Chinese resto (one of the few things he will eat) but that he could not have cookies until he ate his dinner. This of course resulted in the first phase of loud, toddler-tantrum hysterics.
Then he wanted chocolate milk. Note to Chinese restaurants: Please stock chocolate milk! Of course they had none, so I managed to walk down the block to Koo Koo Roo, Chipotle, Wahoos and Rubios in search of it, all with Bennett hanging onto my leg screaming about cookies and now chocolate milk. No dice.
We drove home and I was still very firm about no cookies before dinner. He proceeded to throw himself on the floor and spit. Yes, spit. Everywhere.
That just about did it and I fully admit here and now that I totally lost my cool and went ape s*** on my darling baby, put him in the corner and said under no circumstances would he get a cookie before dinner. Back and forth, he stepped out of his corner and kicked and yelled and spit some more. I responded by putting him back. Again and again until finally, he stopped me cold in my tracks.
"Mommy! Why won't you be nice to me?"
It took that one sentence for me to suddenly become aware of how poorly I was responding to the situation and that rather than match his level of frustration, I needed to step back and just, well, be nice.
And so I gave him a hug and apologized and asked him NICELY if he would please eat his dinner first so that I may give him the cookie he so desired.
He smiled, said "sure" and ate a big helping of noodles while sitting on my lap.
Oh and finally got his cookie.
*It's a half-day at school, so that means he did not eat much
*Hmmmm, bet he did not take a nap
OK this should give you a clue that I was already anticipating his state of being when I picked him up.I was right to do so, but as I am always good at anticipating but not so good at having a plan, we sure enough ended up in battle.
First, never argue or reason with a hungry, tired child. He wanted a cookie and come to think of it woke up that morning asking for of all things, cake. I knew he was hungry so I told him we would pick up some noodles from the Chinese resto (one of the few things he will eat) but that he could not have cookies until he ate his dinner. This of course resulted in the first phase of loud, toddler-tantrum hysterics.
Then he wanted chocolate milk. Note to Chinese restaurants: Please stock chocolate milk! Of course they had none, so I managed to walk down the block to Koo Koo Roo, Chipotle, Wahoos and Rubios in search of it, all with Bennett hanging onto my leg screaming about cookies and now chocolate milk. No dice.
We drove home and I was still very firm about no cookies before dinner. He proceeded to throw himself on the floor and spit. Yes, spit. Everywhere.
That just about did it and I fully admit here and now that I totally lost my cool and went ape s*** on my darling baby, put him in the corner and said under no circumstances would he get a cookie before dinner. Back and forth, he stepped out of his corner and kicked and yelled and spit some more. I responded by putting him back. Again and again until finally, he stopped me cold in my tracks.
"Mommy! Why won't you be nice to me?"
It took that one sentence for me to suddenly become aware of how poorly I was responding to the situation and that rather than match his level of frustration, I needed to step back and just, well, be nice.
And so I gave him a hug and apologized and asked him NICELY if he would please eat his dinner first so that I may give him the cookie he so desired.
He smiled, said "sure" and ate a big helping of noodles while sitting on my lap.
Oh and finally got his cookie.
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